Tatooine is for Losers
by Dinosawrhat
Summary: Luke, a slave in Jabba's Palace, is invited to the 10th Anniversary of Empire Day party. Will Jabba let him go? What will happen when he meets Vader? Emperor is a bit OOC. Leia isn't Luke's sister in this just because I don't really like her.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Empire Day was in exactly one month and the emperor had many plans for the 10th anniversary of his Empire's founding. While not many knew it, Emperor Palpatine had a secret love of large celebrations. His flare for theatrics often led him to waste resources that could have otherwise been used for starving planets, or corrupt judicial systems. However, Emperor Palpatine didn't care much about those star systems that were falling into disrepair. So long as he had a couple large gatherings in a year he was content to sit on his throne and let the galaxy toil into chaos.

A few months back, Emperor Palpatine had come up with a brilliant idea. What better way to celebrate the ten year anniversary than by bringing all those who were born on this day to Coruscant for Empire Day? The emperor thought it was a brilliant plan and ordered his servants to start researching every single intelligent being that had been born on the very first Empire Day.

Several months passed while the emperor's servants researched, and finally they had found all of the specified persons. The invitations were sent out exactly one month before Empire Day. There were almost one thousand invitations sent out to all over the galaxy, but only one went to Tatooine where a small slave boy was just waking up from his light slumber.

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, so this is a new story I'm trying to write. I know I should proabably get working on my other stories (Decision mainly), but I don't feel like it right now. This story has been in my head for awhile now, and I'm going to write it out before I forget!<strong>

**Um...ok so the Emperor is super out of character in the prologue, but he won't be later. I just needed to have a reason for him to throw a party. XD**

**Anyway! Love you all! Tell me if I should post more or if I should quit now while I still have the chance!**

**Enjoy!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Ok, first actual chapter.**

**I forgot the disclaimer in the prologue, so here goes.**

**I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS, IT IS THE PROPERTY OF GEORGE LUCAS AND LUCAS FILMS. I AM NOT DOING THIS FOR PROFIT, ONLY FOR THE ENJOYMENT OF OTHERS.**

**Ok, now that that's taken care of...here's why all the words are in italics. XD**

**Galactic Basic= normal writing...boring...**

**Huttese when most of the people around speak Huttese= _italics! woot!_**

**Huttese when most of the people around DO NOT speak Huttese= Sleemo! (Slime ball).**

**When the words are actual Huttese, I will put the translation next to it so you don't have to scroll down to the bottom to know what's being said.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 1<p>

The Invitation

Jabba the Hutt despised being woken up before he wanted to, and he was very disgruntled when his Twi'lek servant decided to wake him from an entertaining dream he was having.

"_My Lord_," The Twi'lek murmured.

Jabba opened his large eyes and blinked for a moment; he lethargically came into consciousness. "_What do you want, _sleemo?"

The Twi'lek stuttered as he spoke. "_M-my Lord. A m-messenger has arrived from the Empire. He wishes t-to have one of your slaves s-sent to Coruscant for Empire Day._"

Jabba was shocked for a moment. An Empire lackey, _here?_ If they found out that he had slaves, but no. They couldn't find out. He wouldn't let them find out. "_Which slave?_" Jabba demanded. His Twi'lek servant cowered at his tone, but straightened quickly.

"_Luka, My Lord,_" he answered. Jabba nodded at this.

"_Do they know that he's a slave?_"

"_No, My Lord. They think he is just living here temporarily. When they asked where he lived, I told them that he lived on a moisture farm near Anchorhead,_" the Twi'lek explained.

Jabba nodded. "_Go get the messenger. I want to see this Empire lackey._" His servant nodded and left. A few moments later, he returned with an official looking human in tow.

The human was brought in front of Jabba. He had a datapad in his hand, and he looked ready to get things done.

"_Mr. Jabba, the Emperor has decreed that all persons born on the day the Empire was first founded are to be invited to a special celebration on this coming Empire Day. We have found that one such person is currently living with you, is this true?_" The official got straight to the point and Jabba liked that. None of this nonsense about pleasantries.

"_I suppose. Who is it you are looking for?_" Jabba enjoyed the flash of concern on the official's face far more than he probably should have.

"_I...We are asking after Luke Skywalker. He is almost ten, has blond hair, and blue eyes. Is there a person of that description in your care currently?_" The official was very afraid. If they had gotten the wrong address then the Emperor would have his head. The Emperor didn't care for screw ups, and he most certainly wouldn't want Empire Day messed up.

Jabba the Hutt examined the messenger before him. The fear that was starting to show on his face was highly amusing to Jabba. He let the official flounder for a moment before pretending to think. "_You must mean Luka. He would fit that description,_" he said to the messenger. Then, to his Twi'lek servant, "_Go fetch Luka._"

While the pale alien went to find Jabba's slave, Jabba started questioning the messenger from the Empire.

"_How long will he be gone? I'll need to know so that I can tell his family. Is the Empire paying for his expenses?_"

"_He will be gone for seven days, starting two days before Empire Day. The Empire is offering a compensation of 3,000 Wupiupi for your trouble. If 3,000 is not enough to pay for his trip, then we are willing to negotiate the correct amount,_" the official explained. Jabba considered this.

"_How much are you willing to negotiate? It will be very expensive to transport Luka all the way to Coruscant. We'll have to get him a ride to Mos Eisley, and then pay for his flight._"

"_The Empire is willing to negotiate up to 10,000 Wupiupi for outer rim planets such as this. However, this is as far as the Empire will pay for one individual,_" he said.

As Jabba thought about all the things he could do with 10,000 Wupiupi, his servant returned with Luka by his side.

"_Luka,_" Jabba said in his deep voice. "_Come here, Luka. We have much to discuss._"

* * *

><p><strong>I don't know why, but this chapter doesn't seem very good. Maybe because it's almost all dialogue...hmm...or maybe because it's in third person...yeah, that's probably it. I can't write in third person to save my life, which is why the rest of the chapters are going to be in first person. :D<strong>

**Thanks for reading!**

**Drop a review or two, they make me happy. Or you can fav and run. It's ok, I do it to.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Hello! I've finally gotten around to typing up chapter 2! It took me awhile actually, but my creative juices started flowing today, so I thought I'd finish this chapter up. **

**Anyway, this is quite a bit longer than the previous chapters, which I'm quite proud of. It's nearly 4 pages, size 12 font, single spaced! Booyah!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS WITHIN.**

**So, here's the key/legend to figuring out the language differences!**

**Galactic Basic:** "Just looks like this...kinda boring, but oh well."

**Huttese when a few people around speak it:** "Dolpee kikyuna!" (I am a friend!) **I'll have the translation right there so you don't have to scroll to the bottom all the time.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 2<p>

Where's Coruscant?

Luke Skywalker (or Luka, as he was called by Jabba and his subordinates) was not used to being called on by Jabba's personal servant; so, when the pale Twi'lek entered the servant's quarters and pulled him along after him, he was highly curious as to what was going on.

While Luke was daydreaming about the possible reasons for Jabba needing him, the Twi'lek was speaking to him in hurried tones. "_...and don't you _dare _tell the Imperial that you are a slave. If you do, we'll feed you to the rancor. Do you understand me, boy?_"

Luke nodded frantically. He was scared of the rancor more than anything else, and he _sure _didn't want to be eaten by it.

The duo found themselves outside the door to Jabba's throne room. The Twi'lek turned to Luke once more. "_We've told the Imperial official that you live with family on a farm near Anchorhead, and you'll stick to that story, won't you?_"

The Twi'lek servant shook Luke slightly as he said this, a threatening note in his voice. Luke responded with a quite, but sincere, "_Yes, sir._" The Twi'lek nodded and led Luke into the throne room.

Upon entering, Luke saw Jabba on his pedestal and man in a crisp Imperial uniform standing before him. Both human and Hutt alike turned when the Twi'lek and Luke entered.

"_Luka,_" Jabba said. "_Come here, Luka. We have much to discuss._"

The pale Twi'lek pushed Luke forward so he was standing to the side of the messenger from the Empire.

Luke examined the representative from the Empire with curiosity. He had never seen anyone like him on Tatooine. The man had a stiff air about him; his clothes were stiff, his back was stiff, his arms were stiff, his hair was stiff. It was enough for Luke to know that this man _never_ relaxed.

"_Hello, Luke,_" the man said. He sounded relieved, probably because he had found the right person and wouldn't be killed any time soon.

Luke shyly mumbled, "_Hello._" He shuffled his feet and looked down at his worn-out shoes. _Worn-out by my standards, anyway, _Luke thought. _Anyone else would have thrown these away years ago. _

The representative from the Empire cleared his throat and began speaking, "_Well, Luke. I'm here to extend an invitation to this year's Empire Day celebration to you. I was just going over the details with your guardian here. He tells me that you live with your aunt and uncle near Anchorhead, is that correct?_" The man looked like he wasn't completely convinced of this fact.

Luke's eyes widened fractionally. He had become adept at keeping his fear hidden when necessary. He briefly glanced over at Jabba and the Twi'lek who were giving him a pointed look. Luke swallowed the lump in his throat and turned back to the Imperial.

"_Yes, I live with them. We have a moisture farm there and I help my uncle fix all the things that break down,_" Luke lied quickly. He was good at making up lies on the spot. He'd needed to to survive in Jabba's Palace.

The man in the stiff uniform looked visibly relieved. He smiled a tight smile and nodded. "_Good, that's good,_" he said.

"_Let's get this settled. I have things to do, and I haven't got all day,_" Jabba interrupted. The official turned to Jabba and nodded.

"_Of course, I wouldn't want to impose any longer than necessary. Now, how much did you need to be able to get Luke to Coruscant for the celebration?_" The Imperial had his datapad at the ready to take down the specifics.

Jabba deliberated for a moment before asking, "_How long is he going to be there again?_"

"_A week. He'll need to be in Coruscant two days before Empire Day. He'll leave four days after. We have accommodations already set up for him, all we need you to do is prepare him and send him on __his way._"

Jabba appeared lost in thought, and he was truthfully thinking quite hard. "_I think I'll need 10,000 Wupiupi. Going to Coruscant from here is expensive, and finding a pilot to do it is even more so._" The official nodded and wrote it down on his datapad.

"_Very well. The Empire will send you the money two weeks before the celebrations start._" The messenger finished writing and put his datapad in an inside pocket of his uniform. He pulled out another datapad and handed it to Luke. The young boy took it with trembling fingers. "_This is your invitation to the celebrations. You'll need it with you wherever you go on Coruscant. It will get you into your living quarters as well._"

Luke nodded and looked down at the datapad. He'd never been close enough to actually look at one before, and it was all he had imagined it to be. He distantly wondered if the Empire would let him keep it after the party so he could tinker with it.

The official turned back to Jabba and said crisply, "_We'll expect to see him in one month for his arrival in Coruscant._" He nodded to Luke and left with the Twi'lek servant.

Luke was still fiddling with the datapad when Jabba turned to him and grumbled, "_Luka, give that to me._" Luke's happy expression dropped and he sadly handed the datapad to Jabba. He examined it for a minute before handing it back to Luke. Luke's face lit up again and he happily took it back from Jabba. "_Keep that in a place where you won't forget it, boy. I want the money, and if you don't show up I won't see a Wupiupi of it._"

Luke nodded quickly and mumbled, "_Yes, sir._"

The Twi'lek returned. Jabba motioned for him to take Luke back to his room. He did so and quickly returned.

Jabba was silent for awhile before speaking. "_Has Solo paid off his debt yet?_"

"_No, my lord. He has only paid one-third of it. He still has a month to pay it off completely,_" he replied.

"_Hmm,_" Jabba mumbled.

It was a week before Luke was to go to the Imperial Center and he was very excited. He'd gone all out on his chores so he could have time to get his things all together. He didn't think that the dishes or the droids had ever been finished so quickly.

Luke couldn't wait to see all the things outside of Tatooine. He'd made sure that the datapad the Imperial messenger gave him was very safe and exactly where he wouldn't forget it. All his clothes were packed—that is to say, the clothes he was wearing, two clean shirts, and an extra pair of undergarments.

Jabba had told Luke to have his things ready this week, and he had done so gleefully. It would take several days to get to Coruscant from here, so the man who was taking Luke there had to pick him up the week before.

Luke was waiting in Jabba's throne room with his things in a small bag. The man that was taking Luke to Coruscant was going to be here soon, and Luke was jumping up and down on the balls of his feet in excitement.

The pale Twi'lek servant entered with a young man of about 17 behind him. The teenager,Han Solo if Luke remembered correctly, had brown hair and light skin. He was wearing a white shirt with brown leather straps holding a few blasters.

"_Solo, you have the rest of my money, I hope?_" Jabba looked like he was greatly enjoying himself atop his pedestal.

"Look, Jabba, I'll have the money. I still have a week to get it to ya'. I'll get it on time, you know I will!" Solo looked a little desperate. Jabba just laughed in his booming voice.

"_Solo, I think we both know that you won't have it by then. However, I have something of great importance that will get me more money than what you owe me. So, I'll make you a deal._"

"What kind of deal?" Solo asked nervously.

"_The Empire is throwing a very special celebration for Empire Day. They are having all the children born on the day the Empire was founded go to Coruscant for this party. I need you to take one of my slaves there._"

Solo looked curious. "And what do I get out of all this?"

Jabba chuckled, "_I'll revoke the rest of your debt._"

Solo's face brightened considerably. "That's it? Just take a kid to Coruscant?"

"_And bring him back, yes. But I'm not paying for anything on this trip. It'll come out of your pocket, Solo._"

Han thought about it for a moment. He decided that it was as good as he was going to get from Jabba the Hutt. "Alright, Jabba. I'll do it. Now, where's the kid?"

Jabba motioned for Luke to come forward from his place behind Jabba's pedestal. He was clutching his bag while looking nervous, but excited. "_This is Luka. I want you to take him to and from Coruscant without bringing attention to yourself, got it Solo?_"

Han nodded and waved a hand to Luke to come over to him. Luke did so, smiling up at the much taller man. "Right, how long is he staying on Coruscant?"

"_He'll be there for a week, then I want him straight back here. No side trips,_" Jabba explained. He was watching Luke and thinking of all the money that the Empire had sent him the week before.

"Come on, kid. We don't have much time to spare, and I want to introduce you to Chewie before we leave."

Luke had no idea what the older man had just said, but nodded anyway, hoping that was the right answer.

Once they had left Jabba's Palace, they hopped into a land speeder and headed towards Mos Eisley where Han's ship, the Millennium Falcon, was docked. Han kept up a constant stream of words the whole way there, but Luke still had no idea what he was talking about. Han didn't seem to notice.

"You know, kid? You're real quiet. I don't think I've ever met a kid who doesn't have something to say. Not that it matters if you talk or not, but still..." Han took a minute to glance at Luke. The kid didn't even look like he was listening!

Han half-yelled, "Hey, kid!" Luke flinched a little, but otherwise didn't acknowledge him. _Wonder if he can hear? Maybe if I called his name he'd answer...What's his name again? Luce? No. Luke? Was that it? I think so. _"Luke?" he questioned. The boy looked up at him curiously.

"Finally, kid. I was starting to think you couldn't hear me!" Han laughed it off, but stopped when he noticed the boy looking at him with a confused looked on his face. "Luke?"

Luke answered, "Tagwa?" (Yes?)

Han frowned, "Do you speak Basic?" He watched confusion flash over Luke's face again, and took that to mean 'No'. He sighed and said, "That's okay, I can try to speak Huttese. I can't promise I'll be any good. At least I have a language translator on my ship, eh?"

Luke watched Han speaking, but it was all nonsense to him. He shrugged to himself and turned back to watching the desert disappear underneath them. The man next to him was quiet for the rest of the ride which was a nice change. Luke rarely got a quiet moment in the slave quarters, especially when all the other slaves were in their rooms as well.

Luke perked up when he saw Mos Eisley in the distance, his excitement renewed. He was shaking in his seat when they passed through the gates and into the city itself. Luke had never seen so many different species all in one place. _If this is a city in the outer rim, _he thought, _I bet Coruscant will be _huge_!_

Han pulled the speeder into a spot near the space port entrance. He got out before going to help Luke out of the seat restraints he seemed to have gotten himself tangled in. Han chuckled as Luke pouted at him indignantly.

Han kept a hand on Luke's shoulder as he led him into the space port. Luke's eyes were as wide as dinner plates and his head seemed to be on a constant swivel as he tried to see everything at once. Han just shook his head and smiled at the little kid; Han led the way to his pride and joy, the Millennium Falcon. Luke gazed at it for a few seconds before a huge grin threatened to take over his face.

"Chewie! Come on out! We have an extra passenger I'd like you to meet!" Han called out in the general direction that the clanks and sounds of shifting tools were coming from. The sounds stopped and a tall Wookiee came out of the ship.

The Wookiee let out a sound that Luke had never heard come from any species and walked over to Han, who had moved toward the Wookiee. Luke stood at the entrance to the docking area, feeling awkward.

Han and the Wookiee conversed quietly for a moment before Han brought the Wookiee over to Luke.

"Luke, this is Chewbacca, or Chewie as I like to call him. Chewie, this is Luke. He's going to be coming with us for our next trip. Chewie let out another of his bark noises and patted Luke on the head. Luke was shocked for a moment before smiling and waving at Chewie.

"Well, Luke, let's get on board." Han waved his hand at Luke to get him to follow and headed up the ramp to the Millennium Falcon. Luke trailed behind him at a sedated pace and took in all he could of the ship. He was in awe, he'd never seen something so cool, let alone been on one!

When Luke strolled into the cockpit, he found Han rummaging around in a box for something.

"I could have sworn it was in here...Oh, found it!" Han turned around with a small square something in his hand. He quickly found the power switch and turned the device on. Luke inched closer to get a better look.

"Okay, translate from Basic to Huttese...there we go." Han turned to look at Luke and said into the device, "Can you understand me now?"

Out of the devices speakers came an electronic voice saying, "_Can you understand me now?_"

Luke jumped, but smiled brightly and said back, "_Yes._"

Han smiled and said, "Good," which the small device quickly translated for Luke to understand. Han handed the translator to Luke and said, "Keep that with you. You'll be able to understand me when I talk to you now." Luke's face lit up when the device translated Han's words for him. He nodded his head respectfully in thanks, as there is no Huttese word for "Thank you".

Han showed Luke where he would sleep, where the 'fresher was, and how to get to the cockpit from both places. Luke had never had as much fun as he did in the interior of that ship. _I could get used to this,_ he thought.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you liked it. There were a few places that I didn't really feel like it flowed very well, but for the most part it was pretty good. But that's my opinion and you don't have to share it.<strong>

**Love you all! Review please! Well, you don't have to...but they make me feel good...**


End file.
